Outta the Blue

Apparently, my desire to keep a weekly updated page on my fitness journey failed really hard. But I thought i'd drop back in and relive some of my moments from the past few weeks!

Let's see...where did I leave off?

Well, shit, that was a long time ago!! I've come a really long way since February and I am pretty damn proud of myself. As of last week, I have lost a total of 32 lbs! Can you even believe it? Because I'm having a really hard time believing it...it's really hard to realize that there was 32 pounds on my body in the first place. 

To give you some perspective:

This was me in December, when I really started realizing that I was big. If you remember or checked out my first post on this page, here, you'll remember I caught you up on my battle with fitness and my weight. I've really struggled with it! But I'm pretty proud of where I've come, from 217lbs in February to 185 lbs in May!

In these past few months, I've really tested my boundaries. At first, I really shied away from a lot of group activities, including the happy hours our group likes to do, because I hadn't mastered my will power and I wasn't comfortable talking to people about my weight and my decision to join this weight loss challenge. It can be really awkward to talk to people about your weight and your challenges! It was really personal at first...I didn't like recognizing just what I had become. But now I find it easier to face the music and accept responsibility for my physical state. After all, there's nobody to blame but yourself and there's nobody to help you but yourself.

Since mastering control and will power, I start exercising other aspects of dieting and fitness. I pushed my limits on the treadmill and found I actually enjoy the feeling of HIIT, or High Intensity Interval Training. I like seeing just how fast my legs can carry me and for how long. I find the feeling of the blood pounding in my face and the rivers of sweat rolling down my back...to me, that's progress. I literally imagine the calories rolling off my body and that's a really cool feeling! I've tried a variety of other activities as well, from biking and the Elliptical to my new ass-kicker, the Arc Trainer. That thing kills me.  

In the past month or so, I've really gotten into what I've dubbed my Daily Doubles. I like to get up at 4:30 am and hit the gym then double back after work and work a little more. I found it really helped propel me forward in my fitness goals. I've also learned what not to do...which is go really hard into HIIT and not learning how to properly stretch! I suffered from some major shin splints for about 3 weeks and was unable to run for that time! I'm slowly getting back into it as of last week and am so glad! I forgot how awesome it is! But now I take time to wrap my shins and stretch after my warm up and after I finish. It's really important!

So now I have reached the last 2 weeks in this challenge. May 30th is our last weigh in and I'm really terrified (so much exasperation from my boyfriend) about winning. See, I'm jaded because I participated in a weight loss challenge in Oregon a few years back and came in a close second...so this time (although it's totally different people) I challenged myself to get first! As of last week, I think I am in first but it can't help to further myself and try harder!

This week, I plan on being smart about it and not overdoing myself. I wanted to hit the gym tonight (after getting an ass kicking this morning on the Arc Trainer) but I failed to wash my sports bra...and when you only have one that you haven't washed in a few days...well you get the picture. 

Wish me luck on the rest of my adventure! I promise to post some final pictures of not only myself, but of my friend Melissa who has been right by my side this whole time! Her support and enthusiasm has really been awesome to have. I am so proud of her and her journey, plus dedication to our insane morning workouts! 

Week Three Catch Up

I feel like week three has been happening for ages. 

Last Friday, we received an email at work asking if we wanted to change the weigh in date to either a Wednesday or a Friday. Turns out, Monday's were proving difficult for most people participating. Honestly, I don't mind changing it. I voted for Friday, as I recently read that you are your lightest on Friday mornings because you've been good all week. 

As a result, I decided to hit this third week hard. At our first weigh in after the initial weigh in, I was in the top 3 losers along with my department co-worker Melissa. We have recently formed a pact that we will win this thing! One of us will get first and the other will get second. It's just what's gonna happen, oK? 

At the second weigh in, I was a little...lacking. I only lost 1.75 pounds and that didn't put me in the top 3 spots. As week three rolled around, and we actually gained an extra 4 days to work out, I went into it hard. 

Monday I skipped the gym and had dinner with my man at a local Brewery, which sucked because I couldn't drink beer.  

Tuesday, I decided to go crazy. I woke up at 5am and was running with my pumping, loud ass EMD music by 5:30. I spent about 15 minutes warming up by jogging on the treadmill then hit the arm weights hard. So hard, in fact, that my arms are still killing me. After work, I went back to the gym! This time I did 30 minutes on the Elliptical while watching The Voice. It was great!

Wednesday, I woke up with the same gusto. I ran a good 2.24 miles in 30 minutes, including the 5 minute walking warm up. Then Jake and I did a bunch of ab work outs. It was such a great way to wake up!

After work Wednesday, I was feel really tired. So Jake made an awesome Asian flavored dinner and we both passed out on the couch!

Today was a great day. After hitting the treadmill at 5:30, I ran better than yesterday. I managed 2.36 miles in 30 minutes with a 5 minute walking warm up. My goal, if you didn't guess, is to be able to run 3 miles in 30 minutes again. There's just something about a 10 minute mile that gets my heart racing...literally!

Tomorrow morning in the weigh in. I'm slightly terrified. I don't know why, I think I've done pretty well this week. My portions have gotten smaller, my workouts have gotten longer and I don't find that I'm hungry between meals, although I try to have a small, nutritious snack in the afternoon. 

All I want is to make it into the top 3...

...after all, I did talk a lot of smack before this started...I better pull through!

Week Two Catch Up

Week two came and went before I really knew it...but my weigh in was good! It went better than expected at least. See the overall results below:

Initial Weigh In: 217 lbs
Week One: 209 lbs
Week Two: 207.75 lbs


It's a little complicated because I don't think the initial weigh in was structured properly. But I'll take those positive numbers and run with them! It's nice to have that encouragement.

My best workout day was Monday, or course. I went over on almost all my FitBit goals, but that's pretty typical. I find that I'm most motivated on a Monday. I like to really hit the gym with a lot of energy and try to beat my previous work out. Now only if I could get that motivation to last all week...

The rest of the week went as good as one could expect. I've noticed that my appetite was smaller, there were actually days where I didn't eat my whole lunch or didn't feel like snacking. I take those are great days.

Friday was rough, however. Valentine's Day brings my favorite treat of all: chocolate. Well, every single freaking holiday seems to incorporate chocolate BUT this holiday has my favorite treats. To top it off, my department was having a "Food Day," which is just an excuse for everyone to bring food and pig out all day. It was ridiculously tempting but I managed to avoid the table all day (except the end when I caved and had two small red velvet brownies...they were everything I wanted and MORE). To top it all off, I got really wasted Saturday night and ordered a pizza in my hazed state. I (kind of) remember making the decision to only two pieces and a few Parmesan bread bites.  I think I did well!

So when Monday rolled around, I was relieved when I saw a little loss. I think to do better next week, I need to up my cardio and shrink my portions. But I'm hopeful! It's still early and I have a lot to lose...which means I have a lot to fight for!  

Week One Round Up

The first real weigh in is tomorrow and I'm nervous. This first week was good. I didn't attack it as harshly as I did last time I was in a challenge, but I think I did pretty well. 

I worked out three times this week. I know I should have gone more, and I actually planned on it, but it just wasn't in the stars. Monday's work out was great, managed to hit all the green bars on my Fitbit, which in itself is pure motivation. Nothing is more satisfying than seeing all those green bars.

I think going into this coming week, I'm going to attempt to go to the gym more. Even if it is just to move around, as exercise is my weakness. This desk job, I'm telling you, it's killing me! I hate sitting all day. The difference between this challenge and my past challenge is that I was able to move more at my old job. I find that I sometimes walk around the office just to get out of my chair. And I think that's maybe a good way to go about it.

The rest of the week was hard, but I managed to get through. Thursday was especially a rough day. I was going through a rough PMS day and ended up skipping the gym. Instead, Jake took me to the natural food store and we purchased a few "junk" food items...they were actually paleo friendly junk food items so not as bad as normal junk food, but I still felt guilty in the morning. As a cheat meal, we had sushi on Friday, which was delicious. 

Saturday and today, Sunday, provided good gym days, but instead we got out of the house and went to Eureka Springs on Saturday and ran a ton of errands on Sunday. I think it was a good use of my time, but in the future I will choose to get up earlier and hit the gym. This challenge isn't going to win itself! And with the amount of shit talking I've been doing, I'm sure I could use the help. I say I'm going to win so I better get my winning pants on and try harder!

I'm looking forward to tomorrow weigh in. I think it could be deadly. In all honesty, we were weighted at a stupid time for our initial weigh in. We were weighed at 2pm, right in the middle of lunch. I think that, if I have my way and get weighed in the morning, I'll definitely have "lost" some weight, but I won't be able to really trust it, as it would be my weight at the same time as the first time. But I guess as long as it's a smaller number, I'm on the right track!

Wish me luck!

Pre-Game Day

In just a few short hours, I will embark on the second weight loss challenge of my life. I think I'm the most ready I've ever been for this.  

The first time I participate in a weight loss challenge was about 3 years ago, the year I live at home in Portland. At the time, I didn't do much besides work 2 jobs, work out hard core and sleep. I remember it was a lot of hard work, patience and dedication, but in the end it was worth it! I got second place overall but first for the women. It was absolutely worth it.

As I sit here thinking about the next 3 months, I get nervous. Will I be able to work as hard and accomplish as much this year? I'm older now, smarter when it comes to fitness and health and have experienced enough to know my limits. Will it makes it any easier?

Then I look at what I once was and what I have reached today and I'm more motivated than ever:

Year: 2011
Age: 23
Weight: 160 lbs
Pant Size: 8-10

Year: 2013

Age: 25

Weight: 200 lbs

Pants Size: 16

It's honestly really hard to look at these pictures right now. I see someone completely different then when I look in the mirror. Sure, there are parts of me that I notice are larger than I'm used to, but I don't see what I see in that picture. I have a hard time wanting to be in pictures. I look at myself 3 years ago and I realize that, while it was really hard work and I had to give up some of my favorite foods, I was much happier with myself. I felt like I could literally do anything. 

Unfortunately, I think how I see myself in the mirrors and pictures from the past few months, is how I see myself in real life, in my abilities to be successful...a failure. I know it sounds harsh, but I had accomplished so much towards my physical fitness and health and then I feel like I just threw it all away, slowly, over the past 3 years. 

But luckily, I have forgiven myself. I have spent the past few months thinking a lot about how I got to this point and what I need to do to move forward. I have realized my triggers and come to terms with what I have let myself do. Now I think it's time to move on, to start the journey to better myself. And I will not let myself down.

I need to head into tomorrow with a positive and bright attitude. I'm exciting to feel good and to feel comfortable. I'm ready to be confident again. 

But I'm ready. So, so ready.